My grandmother loved using old adages, or euphemisms. Sayings that her grandmother had taught her to live by. She used to say certain ones all the time. It was the preamble to any advice she could give in times of need.
These lines have fallen away… Most people either don’t know what they mean or simply don’t believe in them anymore. I feel that most are still true and still can be used today… But only if you know how and when to use them.
A short line for quick advice in a tight situation. Especially now when one really does not have time to think something through before another thing comes down on them.
I give you the adages in bold italics, with the meaning and how to use them written all around them.
Let’s say you need to take off of work for a day. The only coworker you can ask to cover your shift is one that you had a conflict with last week. You think of many ways that you might ask them but don’t really feel confident with any of them. You think you’ll just call in, knowing that the boss will call in the coworker to cover anyways.
This is a salty proposal which will probably further the rift between you and the coworker. Something that could be considered cutting your nose off despite your face because you really won’t be able to ask them for anything in the future after that.
On a whim you decide to try to ask the coworker if they will cover anyways. Maybe you apologize for the earlier conflict and offer to buy them lunch one day in trade for the favor. The coworker obliges and you two become good friends. All is well simply because you chose to acknowledge that you get more with sugar than you do with salt.
You got way more by being nice than by being nasty and resentful.
At the very least, you gave the coworker the heads up that they will have to work next week.
“There are children starving all over the world who would love to have some of the food that you won’t eat…” – Moms Everywhere.
It’s more of a karmic situation with this one, more of a plea to the universe that if the gifts you are given are not wasted, then possibly you will not want for much.
On a different level than just food, if we realize just how much our wastefulness is creating the wants in the world, environmentally and otherwise, we may just discover how waste not, want not can be applied in our lives. One of the best examples of this would be water. Please don’t waste the water, we will seriously be wanting it in the future.
Another would be our planet. Please don’t waste (trash) our planet as we do not want to have to want (need) another one in the future.
A man sees you buying chicken in the store. He strikes up a conversation with you about his mom’s chicken noodle soup recipe and you think it sounds awesome. He tells you the ingredients and all, and you buy them. You really like this guy and think he’s pretty cool.
You are really glad you decided to give him a chance and didn’t judge a book by it’s cover, simply because he was wearing a baseball hat with a logo on it you didn’t like. Now that y’all are friends, you learn he picked up the hat in the thrift store because he needed one and it was the only kind that fit his head, he really hadn’t even noticed what was on the front of it…
This boy sits in the house all day long with no physical contact. No one has noticed that there have been no hugs, no talks… His parents are busy… Working, on the phone, exercising… His friends are all people online. No one has noticed that no one has actually physically touched this boy in a year or two.
No ruffling of the hair, no playing catch out in the yard with Dad… Since he got old enough to fend for himself, the attention ceased. Well not all attention… Everyone still felt the need to talk when he did something wrong.
He doesn’t know how to talk to girls in person… It’s so much easier online… Again though… There are no dates, no love… No hand holding. Eventually his thoughts grow dark because they are all his own. He makes them up, no one cares anyways. There are no counter opinions or ideas.
He grows angry because everyone needs a hug now and then. Everyone needs to talk in person with someone. See how they really feel about them by the expressions on their face…
No man is an island…
This boy’s mother sees what is going on. She starts trying to correct it. She checks in on him in his room, asks him if he wants to do anything today. She realizes how long it has been since she has hugged her son and grabs him up, holding him close to her for a long time.
A vacation is planned where there is no WiFi access available and the boy has a great time. Turns out he loves fishing, something his father and him last did when he was three years old and grossed out by worms. This time, it’s not bad and Dad is proud of him for trying.
The boy beams with pride in himself when his Dad gives him a big pat on the back and a smile. This hasn’t happened in forever…
The boy starts talking to his mother about things that are on his mind and in turn, gains a different perspective. Since talking to her has been so easy he now feels he can approach girls. He feels he knows how to talk to them at least a little bit.
One day he brings a girl home to meet his mother. She loves her. Dad loves her. The boy’s mother smiles to herself as she watches them leave for the movie. The ten o’clock news comes on and she cries for a different boy… One who has been in a very different situation and she realizes that sometimes a stitch in time saves nine.
If you don’t know about horses, they can be very stubborn creatures. Just short of mules, sometimes they can be very obstinate.
A woman has given many, many speeches today. She has talked to many young minds and hopes that she has given them some knowledge of the subject. She hopes her words have sunk in and they have learned something.
Later she runs into one of these young minds in a bookstore. The girl recognizes her and chooses to “call her out” on some things she had said earlier. As the woman tries to explain her point, she notices that the girl is not listening at all, she is looking at her phone.
She asks the girl to please listen if she wants to have a meaningful discussion about the speech.
The girl responds by telling the woman she knows what she is all about and she doesn’t need to hear her opinions or thoughts about it.
The woman is left standing there and the saying you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink runs through her mind…. She realizes that this girl will always be thirsty for knowledge or answers because she will not drink the water of reasonable conversation… No one can force it either.
This saying also means that even though you may present very good opinions, ideas and beliefs to someone, they are not required to accept them.
There has been a car accident… The lady who is at fault leaves her vehicle with the intention of apologizing and trying to make things right. The young man who was hit leaves his vehicle with the intention of giving her a piece of his mind.
When the lady sees the look on the young man’s face she immediately changes her mind about apologizing and gets defensive. As they approach each other they begin yelling.
By the time the police show up the two people are in a physical altercation and both go to jail.
Where at one point a right response would have brought reasonable closure to the situation. Now two different kinds of wrong have brought the people to an even worse outcome.
A man cheats on his wife… She finds out and cheats on him. The person she uses to do this with also has a wife, who finds out about the affair. Unlike the other couple, this man’s wife divorces him, taking their two children, who he loves dearly, across the country.
He can only see them when he can afford to travel to them a few times a year. He is depressed and regretful and eventually loses everything. He sleeps on a bench at night covered in cardboard. His children know him as a bum.
Because two wrongs do not make a right.
This girl decorates her face with makeup. It takes her a half an hour or more. She decides she can’t make her cheeks look thin enough for the camera so she washes it all off and applies tape to her face.
It stretches her skin back and gives her higher cheekbones and almond shaped eyes. She likes it. She takes another half an hour reapplying the makeup.
Her lashes aren’t long enough. She applies some fake ones.
Her lips aren’t plump enough. She applies a special cream that causes them to swell up.
When she is done she looks nothing at all like the young lady in the photo on the nightstand, but that is exactly what she wants. She doesn’t like that girl. She thinks people won’t want to see that face…
She stares at herself, or rather, the peripherals of herself, obsessively looking for any kind of imperfection. Of course there are the tape lines, glue residue and thickness about everything… But the camera filters will leave all of that out… She’s really looking for nothing…
It takes about 20 minutes or so. Photo upon photo… She needs at least 3-4 perfect ones. That would be 3 or 4 out of 100 or so.
A young man in the same zip code is looking at a beautiful young woman. There is a sparkle about her picture. A sort of … Glitter… Her golden hair adds a halo to her perfect head and heart shaped face. He is awestruck… He sends his message to her… Sweating… Nervous.
She sighs with annoyance when the bells start to ding. Ten private messages in 3 seconds. She rolls her eyes up higher than the likes piling up under her photo shoot. She opens her box and feeds off of the idolatry…
His message is number 4 on the list of now 60 and growing. “Hello Beautiful…” She rolls her eyes again. They all start that way…
Something about the message causes her to reply. She shrugs… She always answers at least two or three. This guy looked like he needed a boost anyways… She smiled to herself in the mirror… She tapped in her greeting… “Hello handsome”…
They decided to meet at a nearby coffeehouse a few hours later. He could not believe his luck… This was awesome, the girl was absolutely beautiful. He ran to the shower thinking about this angel he was about to see.
She decided to go as herself. It really didn’t matter unless there were pictures involved anyways. She stood under hot water, scrubbing at the glue left on her face and eyes. Maybe this guy would be the one this time… She smiled. Hopeful.
He looked around the coffeehouse. She must not be here yet. He took a seat at the bar. No one in here could compare at all to the goddess he was meeting.
She felt he didn’t recognize her and it was no surprise. It had happened before. She had to admit she was very different looking without all the hair, makeup and filters…
A brown haired woman kept staring at him. It was making him uncomfortable. Was that the woman he was meeting? She really didn’t even resemble the woman in the picture. Not even the same hair color or length. His disappointment started to creep in. Did she use someone else’s picture?
After watching his face go from confused to disappointed she knew she really didn’t want to talk to him now. He saw her as she saw herself and that was not what she was looking for.
She was looking for gold. The real kind. Not money or things, but honor… Love. The young man was looking for the same and for a small moment in time, a day maybe… They were both so wrapped up in the glitter, the hopes, of what could be that they were set back light years in disappointments.
All that glitters is not gold friends. It’s the final adage that I have for you.
Be aware and be wary…