Obviously I think about Death quite often. The other world has always been a strong part of my life but in the last few years… I would say that old man Death has been walking a little closer.
It has led me to look more seriously at the situation.
Fear that I am not ready.
The acknowledgement that Death could happen any moment, any where… And that you are not ready… That is deep.
It makes one scared. It makes me scared.
But today was one of those strange days where God shines down and tells you a secret.
Lately life has been pretty good. Some really awesome and amazing things have happened. I love it, I am so grateful, but I have a tendency not to trust it. Not to get used to it. It just is what it is, and morbidly enough, it leads me to think maybe I will die soon. Maybe that is why all these awesome things are happening.
It’s crazy of course, but once again, it is what it is. I love God dearly so I think, ok, He’s just hooking me up with all the things in life I’ve ever wanted so my last few days, hours, whatevers are great ones. This is because I believe God loves me and is good.
I know I am still not ready. I know that I still fear Death as a human should.
I remember what the great warrior Crazy Horse said, ” “Hokahey (I am ready for what comes), today is a good day to die!” and I understand it. Regardless of whether God is padding my life so I’m happy when I die, it seems better to think of what He has blessed me with, and if I die, I will be in a happy state when that time comes.
That link up there leads to a really excellent and more in depth version of someone else’s experience with this phrase and what it means.
So my children, the love of my life, the truck of my dreams, and the job that it seems I’ve always wanted… All these things… Would make it a good day to die if that is what the powers that be wished to happen.
And we know… If Death is inevitable, it might as well be on a bright and sunny day while we feel at peace and blessed.
“I am truly blessed and highly favored.. With a mind to press on…” – Preacher Anthony Milton, old friend of mine.
And he’d walk over to a little mound of dirt, face the East, pray the Sun up and go on to work.