Yesterday I had to take my old bulldog and have her put down. I took her to the vet hoping they could just remove her tumor… I really had hoped that death wouldn’t be the case but I expected it as she was very old and pretty obviously had cancer. She was a trooper though, you’d never know the discomfort she was in.
As I lay to rest my wonderful dog of 15 years I think now I am truly by myself here.
It is a selfish statement. I have people around me that love me and others that are no farther away than Facebook.
But here… Bee was the last living thing that I brought with me into this house, into this city. She was the last real part of a life that has now passed totally away. A little memory box that I kept with me. She was my mom, my Nano, my sister… my hairdresser and my aunt… She was all the people that have passed and gone, the last personality to know me and to have been with me through a good portion of my life.
The last old lady to watch over me.
I will miss her terribly and I wonder… what does this next chapter bring?
Please know that in the 5 years we have been in this house there has never been a stray cat come here. Nor even hung around the neighborhood. We have dogs and I don’t care for cats.
The night before I took Bee Bee to the vet I sat out on the porch and worried and cried. I knew this was probably the end for her. I felt something staring at me so I turned and looked out towards the street.
There, sitting on the top step looking very serious and regal is this large gray and white cat. He is staring at me. It was very strange but I was very happy to see him. I’m not sure why.
I clicked at him and he slowly came on over to be petted. He’s a very friendly, loving cat. He purrs, he eats some lasagna. He hangs out with the kid, the dog and the man. Very neat visitor. Around 11 pm or so he just disappears, just like he arrived. We forgot about it with the exception that it was odd to have a strange cat hang out for the first time ever in this house.
In the morning I took Bee Bee to the vet.
When I came home Nicodemus was hanging out in his spot on the porch. He came to me ready to be snuggled and petted and I obliged. This silent stranger was much needed.
He is still here today. He likes Purina cat food and a side of milk. I’m not sure how long he will stay but he is welcome and his presence at this moment is much appreciated.
I will accept him as an honored guest and a rare sign of something other worldly and special whatever that may be…