Florida’s Mysterious Swampy Forests

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8-foot alligator knocks down wrangler beside Texas highway, video ...
https://www.foxnews.com/science/alligator-knocks-down-wrangler-texas

The Florida state reptile is the 100 million year old American Alligator. Found only in the Southeastern US, it is the second largest in the species topped only by the Black Caiman in South America. The largest found in Florida was 14ft 3 and a half inches long; Lake Washington, November 1st, 2010. Yes, while it is almost impossible to close the jaws of a gator, which packs the most powerful bite of any animal in the world; one can hold them closed with just some duct tape.

While the gator does not normally want anything to do with humans, sometimes you get a nasty one. They are prone to attack small children, domestic pets and the elderly. They are most aggressive in the mating season of May through June and especially around their nests which are hidden in marshes and riverbanks. Here in Florida there are many opportunities to see the official state reptile in action. Alligator wrestling is very popular with the Seminoles in south Florida, and Alligator farms abound throughout the state.

There are many stories, myths and legends about this great lizard left over from the days of the dinosaurs. Some are true, some not so much. Here are three that are specific to Florida, though the first one is simply caused by Florida…

American crocodiles thriving outside nuclear plant - ABC News
https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory/american-crocodiles-thriving-nuclear-plant-64461876

Legend of the Sewer Gator

It has long been rumored that there are Alligators in the sewers of New York city. This is not a rumor. This is true. From the early 1900’s when Alligator Farms first began in the state until the 1950’s or so, tourist shops sold baby gators. From stands set up alongside the highways, one could buy a baby gator or turtle, some shells and a bag of oranges, all on the way out. Many folks came and went from New York. A lot of them bought these baby gators. In captivity a gator will grow about 2 or 3 inches a year depending on what you are keeping it in. If it is really happy where it is, a gator can grow way faster than that, up to 12 inches a year. Once those cute little snappers start taking off fingers and limbs its time to go… Into the river or sewer. It’s not just New York either, our gators have a way of going where they want, or maybe, where they don’t want… One had to be rescued in July of 2019 from Chicago.

Spook Hill – Lake Wales Chamber of Commerce
https://lakewaleschamber.com/spook-hill/

Spook Hill, Lake Wales, Florida

Spook Hill is well known for it’s hill that makes your vehicle seem like it is rolling backwards when you are really going forwards. It is an optical illusion of sorts, and I tried for years to associate it with some sort of magnetic anomaly. There is no Earthly anomaly there to speak of, but there is something odd. Pioneers with horse drawn wagons noted the difficulty in going down the other side of the hill. There is also a very good gator tale to explain a phenomenon which apparently has been going on long before automobiles.

A native tribe moved to the shores of Lake Wales. Shortly after this a monstrous and supernatural gator began raiding the village and killing the people. The chief battled the great beast for many days. The mud and water splashed up out of the lake building the hill and the smaller lake on the north side. The gator and the chief died and the chief was buried near Spook Hill, on the north side of the smaller lake.

Legend has it that the chief and the gator are still fighting it out and this accounts for the difficulty one has going over the hill. I guess anyone crossing through an ancient paranormal and eternal battle is bound to encounter a little stress, if only for a minute…

http://www.centralalabamaweekend.com/two-toed-tom-the-southeasts-reptilian-terror/

Two – Toed Tom – Monster Demon Gator of Pensacola

Like all legends, this one has some roots in actual truth. It’s actually pretty scary. Two-Toed Tom ain’t no joke. It all started in Alabama, 1920, when people started talking about a monster gator in the swamps with red eyes. It was bigger than boats, way bigger than cows, and it was attacking people. This gator had a strange foot print, a signature if you will. At some point his foot was snared in a steel trap. I’m assuming some hunter had at least half a gator foot as a souvenir later because it is said that Tom ripped his foot out of the trap leaving part of it behind. A bounty was put on his head but 20 years later they still had no results and Two- Toed Tom was still going strong.

An old farmer named Pap Haines decided to take on the gator by throwing buckets full of dynomite into the pond he thought Tom was in. While he was doing this, Two-Toed Tom snuck out and grabbed Pap’s granddaughter, killing her on the spot. Pap didn’t kill the gator, but the lifelong obsession he had with it after this, drove Tom over the state line into Florida. Yay for us!

There was another episode here where someone tried to kill him. Two-Toed Tom took a rifle blast to the belly over a little girl near Sand Hammock Lake. He was stunned, but when the men came near, the gator jumped up and ran off into the swamp. The massive gator and his signature footprints, were actively seen in multiple areas of Holmes County, just northwest of Tallahassee, near the Choctawhatchee River all the way into the 1980’s.

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Snakes

When it comes to snakes, we got em’. We have the ones that belong here and the ones that were imported via pet stores and other means. That leads to a pretty variable and sometimes very dangerous, nest of slithering reptiles.

Most of our 50 species of native snakes are perfectly benign. They are good guys. The super long black King snakes love to battle it out with the Rattlesnakes. Grass snakes come in multiple colors and designs. Corn snakes strut their bright orange stuff and tropical beauties of all sorts can be found here. We have some extremely poisonous and cantankerous ones though. Six of the deadliest snakes in the world call us their native home.

Five of those deadly snakes; the Coppermouth Moccasin, Cottonmouth Water Moccasin, Diamondback Rattlesnake, Canebrake Rattlesnake, and Pygmy Rattlesnake, are all pit vipers that issue a haemotoxin. This toxin attacks the blood, blood vessels and causes disintegration from the inside out. The sixth snake, the Eastern Coral snake, issues a neurotoxin that attacks the nervous system causing paralysis.

Red touch yellow, kill a fellow. Red touch black, ok Jack.

Pythons

https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2005/oct/06/python-gator-tangle-in-the-everglades-neither/

While the state is chocked full of invasive species, the Pythons have certainly made a splashy and destructive entrance. First noticed when this photo was taken of the Alligator v/s Python battle to the death in 2005, the Python population now threatens to screw up the entire Everglades ecosystem. Here is where the whole pet snake thing has gotten way out of control. The snakes were and are still, eating everything.

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/01/16/florida-golfers-play-through-while-a-massive-gator-fights-a-python

In March of 2017, Dade county launched the Python Elimination Program which selected people to hunt the invasive Pythons and kill them before they destroyed the entire Everglades. A bounty of $50 a foot was placed on all Pythons with bonuses for extra large ones, nests and eggs.

https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/02/why-are-enormous-alligator-eating-pythons-invading-florida/252359/

Spiders

All of our spiders should be considered to be on the “no kill” list. Given the problems that Florida has with both flying and crawling insects, without spiders no one would probably be able to be outside in the summer at all. The first spider visitors may notice is our great Banana spider. He is not poisonous or aggressive. The webs they spin are huge and high up in the trees. They catch more mosquitos that any bug zapper could hope. Like snakes there are a plethora of different spiders here and almost all are totally harmless. Two of them beg to differ…

Black Widow Spider
https://fermi.gsfc.nasa.gov/science/constellations/pages/blackwidow.html

Black Widow – The black widow is an extremely well known celebrity in the spider world. Her creepy black body with it’s glaring scarlet hourglass makes you wonder if you’ll have time to get to the hospital.

https://www.livescience.com/47108-brown-recluse-spider-bite-pain.html

The Brown Recluse – This invasive species is much worse than the Widow. Normally a northern spider, it hitches rides with people moving or traveling here. It also comes in through agriculture and other shipments. Recently the larger and more aggressive Chilean Brown Recluse has been spotted in Polk County and you are asked to contact authorities if you see one.

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Native Florida Creatures

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2019/12/23/Police-wildlife-rescuers-help-raccoon-with-jar-on-its-head/4641577118928/

Florida Raccoon (Procyonidae) – Out of 6 species of raccoon in the world, there is only one type found in Florida. Our raccoons here get up to just as much trouble as Florida man and can be found with their heads stuck in plastic bottles, going for rides on Wonder Bread trucks and getting stuck inside vending machines. That last one was karma, he was totally burglarizing the thing. Be wary, even though they are cute, they are the primary carriers of rabies in the state.

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Florida Water Rat – Confused with it’s distant relative the Muskrat, this creature lives only in the Southeastern U.S. and it lives around water in little built up nests, sometimes sharing a den with Beavers. It is a rodent and there are quite a few of these guys inhabiting swamps from Louisiana across to Florida down to Miami. Nocturnal vegetarians.

Florida Opossum – Our only marsupial. They carry their babies in their pouch for about 80 days and then crawl up onto mom’s back. They stay there for about 100 days until they fall off. Extremely helpful they eat 5,000 ticks or more a summer along with snakes, spiders, rats, snails and slugs. They are immune to snake venom. With 50 of them, they have the most teeth of any North American mammal and are completely harmless. They freeze and play dead when scared. Rabies in them is extremely rare due to their low body temperatures.

Florida American Beaver – The largest water rat of all and can weigh up to 50lbs. While they are imperative for wetland habitats, they are also pretty dangerous towards humans. They bite and carry rabies and have no problem tipping over kayaks or paddle boards to attack. Good thing they are nocturnal and rarely encountered.

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Legends of the Swamp

Something is glowing in there…

Sometimes late at night, really early morning… You’d go walking past the swamp in the middle of the property and there would be some little balls of light in there dancing around. I remember the first time I saw them. I was standing on my grandparents new porch that backed up to the swamp.

The lights were about 10 or 20 feet into the swamp from the porch. There were about four or five balls of light ranging in size from golf ball to softball. They moved sort of in a fat column and they stayed together. There was this whitish haze around them. Everyone said I saw the Willo the Wisps…

Later on Grandpa would come clean and explain about the swamp gas. To this day I still think it was something else there in there swamp that night. It felt different. If you ever see the Willo Wisps you will know what I mean. They have long been explained away by science as methane gas from rotting swamp vegetation.

“In modern science, it is generally accepted that will-o’-the-wisp phenomena (ignis fatuus) are caused by the oxidation of phosphine (PH3), diphosphane (P2H4), and methane (CH4). These compounds, produced by organic decay, can cause photon emissions. Since phosphine and diphosphane mixtures spontaneously ignite on contact with the oxygen in air, only small quantities of it would be needed to ignite the much more abundant methane to create ephemeral fires.[34] Furthermore, phosphine produces phosphorus pentoxide as a by-product, which forms phosphoric acid upon contact with water vapor, which can explain “viscous moisture” sometimes described as accompanying ignis fatuus.” -Wikipedia

Here is something else to consider when encountering glowing things within the Florida landscape. The state holds the largest deposits of phosphorus in the country. To find out why we must go back to that infamous break up of the continents; as it is rock that is formed from dead things over many millions of years. It also glows.

Phosphorous is the main ingredient in many glow products like the sticks, powder, necklaces, etc. That is the fun part. The very foul part is that it is mined out of the Florida land in places that bear names like “Bone Valley”. It isn’t mined for glow sticks either.

Phosphorus creates Phosphates which are used in 95% of fertilizers in the world. Which creates phosphate run off, dispersing the phosphates into water sources where they do not belong.

I think I would rather listen to my mother, who said it was fairies trying to get me into the swamp at night to steal me… She was closer to the many different explanations for “ghost lights”, “fairy lights” or any of the other world wide definitions. No matter what, it’s never a good idea to go mucking about in the swamp at night… You might run into one of these guys…

Swamp Apes and the Bardin Booger

While working at The Mill in Palatka, Florida, I mentioned I was going hiking on Rice Creek Trail. One of those old men in there heard me and very seriously told me “I better be careful out there in those woods…” Of course I asked why and he proceeded to tell me about some swamp Booger that lived out in the woods around the mill. The mill is actually right on the outskirts of a place called Bardin, and the Booger the old man was talking about was the well known, well loved and very popular Bardin Booger.

I hadn’t ever heard of it before. Maybe it was because I grew up near the coast and we didn’t have any Boogers in our little swamp. Only Boogers in St. Augustine are the locals and the ghosts. Regardless of this, later, when Google became a thing, I found out that the Booger was not alone. Apparently he is just the northern cousin to the equally well known but not as popular, Everglades Skunk Ape.

Man… What do we NOT have here???

Dinosaur bones.. No one has ever found any of them… The oldest bone ever found here was dated to an old seaturtle who died around the end of the dinosaur age.

Just sayin.

Anyways… The Bardin Booger is a supposedly good natured Booger and doesn’t mean any harm to anyone… Why the old man would warn me about it then, I don’t know. He didn’t sound like it was too lovable. The following is about a newspaper article written about one man’s experience with the Booger and since then, it’s been well known across the state.

Palatka Daily News 1980’s

The Skunk Ape seems to have a different personality and most notably… Smells. Bad. Smells Very Bad. Please check out the Skunk Ape Stink in a Jar in the Swamp Gifts Shop if you would like a sample.

https://unsolvedmysteries.fandom.com/wiki/The_Skunk_Ape

They look very similar though, a strange combination of Bigfoot and Sloth. Ape-ish, covered in long dark hair which has algae growing in it. Shorter than Big Foot, the Skunk Ape likes to hang out in trees above unsuspecting humans. They do not seem to be as shy as Bigfoot, or maybe there are just less and less places for them to get away from people these days.

From 1962 until the present there have been 325 sightings of the Skunk Ape in south Florida. Myth or real creature, anyone is welcome to check out the The Skunk Ape Research Headquarters in Ochopee, Fl. It is the official jump off spot for anything involving our Skunk Apes.

https://www.paradisecoast.com/profile/skunk-ape-headquarters/1724

Quicksand

http://www.californiaherps.com/films/snakefilms/IndianaJonesKingdomCrystalSkyll.html

My cousin was obsessed with quicksand when we were kids. He had a plan how to get out of it, knew what to do if we fell into it and knew exactly what it looked like. I never saw any. It’s there though. Out there in the deep swamps, alongside the riverbanks, in the sloos at the beach. Its not really sand except at the beach.

Around the river it’s sand, rocks, clay all mixed with water… all kinds of stuff that produces just enough air around a body to keep it stuck there in the quicksand. People do get stuck in it. Like in the case of the Lakeland, Florida man who was stuck in it for 8 hours. Overnight. With water moccasins. So it is not a myth.

https://www.damninteresting.com/the-physics-of-quicksand/

The strangest thing about quicksand is how it looks so much like dry Earth. All these rocks and dry particles float on the top of the slurry mix underneath. It makes for very deceptive footing.The best way to survive falling into it is not to struggle. Don’t try to walk. Try and float up and backstroke or slowly swim to the shore.

buisnessinsider.com

Despite all the jokes and myths, quicksand is dangerous. 3 people, a man in Texas in 2016 and two boys in Illinois in 1997 died in it. As with all of Natural and Wild Florida, it is best to take certain things very seriously.

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Looking back, I think I remember the last time I smelled a skunk. It was in the mid-90’s, Hastings, Florida. Cracker Swamp Road. If I’d have known back then that that would be the last time I would smell that putred fragrance, I would have had my mom pull the car off to the side of the road and enjoyed it a little longer. If I’d have known that the wonderful and mystical bird, who’s song my grandmother loved so much at night, would be gone… If I’d have known, what would I have done??

Savored the sound just a little longer I guess.While we try very hard to protect the wildlife in Florida and across the world, humans have the upperhand sometimes…

When I was a kid all three of these fantastical and wondrous creatures were very common. Maybe like a Unicorn once was… In a hundred years will people believe there used to be a little bug that flashed a light at you while it flew around? I tell you now that this world is changing and we are changing it. If the vanity and greed is not reigned in, all things will be lost. It broke my heart to have to verify that yes, these creatures are disappearing rapidly.

All three of these have lost their homes and lives to loss of habitat. Humans taking over without regard to what already may live there.

The Firefly is a bug about the size of your thumbnail. They fly and the very special quality about these bugs is that their butt lights up and they tend to like to flash it around. They don’t bite, they don’t hurt anything but yet, it is a victim to both habitat loss and pesticides, much like the Bee. Artificial light is also a cause. Hope that gorgeous yard is worth it… Why not just go spray paint the flowers and shit out there so it’s all still just as poisonous, but you don’t have to maintain it? No injections of fresh poison every month.

Below is a cool video on Fireflies in the mountains. In this video, Fireflies are put into jars, I don’t care for this, to each their own.. but it’s part of the problem. I’m sure we all did it when we were kids, but once you reach the consciousness to think about it, it should stop. Would you like it if you were in a jar? Hopefully with the new pesticide bans coming in to play populations will bounce back.

Firefly Video

https://44news.wevv.com/indiana-senate-votes-unanimously-to-make-firefly-state-insect/

The Whippoorwill is a smallish bird that kind of looks like a fluffy little falcon. It likes to hang out in ditches and places on the ground as much as in trees. Many people will recall one thing about this sweet bird, it’s song. Competing only with the Nightingale for recognizable nighttime lullabies, the Whippoorwill’s call is something we will miss forever. This bird has habitat loss and that same mysterious disappearing affliction that quite a few birds are getting lately.

Birds en masse are disappearing regularly. It may not be such a mystery… Pesticides have been proven once again, to be related to diminishing bird populations. Makes sense no? Bug eats poison, Bird eats poisonous Bug, Bird dies. It’s how it got its name I believe. Whip-poor-will…

You can listen to the bird’s song here.

Whippoorwill Song

The video says it’s a Mexican Whippoorwill but its song is the one that sounds closest to the one I remember. Seems it’s the Eastern Whippoorwill in Florida. Maybe it’s just time… It seems like the bird’s call I knew was a lower and slower tone than the ones I am finding online.

https://birdsoftheworld.org/bow/species/whip-p1/cur/introduction

The skunk, it seems, is the one no one wants to admit. While the wildlife people put out calls of “have you seen me” over and over again, it’s like they just don’t get it.

The skunk, the cute little guy with the super stink spray, is becoming nonexistent. This furry little black, foxy type creature, with the slick white stripe down his back and lovely, fluffy, question mark tail has become another rarely seen animal species. No one sees them any more, no one smells them dead on the side of the road. No one has to worry about them rooting up their gardens or spraying their dogs… No more tomato juice baths… Another one bites the dust. Good job evil.

People still have jokes and cartoons about them so…

https://sciencing.com/

In conclusion, these creatures are not completely gone yet, nor have they been added to any endangered or protected lists. I say though, along with many others across the globe, that they are going away.

In the pursuit of mass agriculture and feeding billions of people, bugs are a real problem. It is when companies and corporations continue, knowingly, to cause preventable death and destruction that it really becomes an issue. I’ve added a few notes to this chart from Wikipedia. Bayer particularly seems to be a problem.

Next time you go out into your yard and are bothered by flying gnats, flies, worms or any other one of God’s creatures, please look for more humane ways of disposing of them if you must. Once your poison is airborne it lands on plants you never intended, killing things you may never have intended on killing. Please think before you spray.

Imidacloprid – Banned in Europe

There is a chemical that could be on your dog or cat right now…

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Raccoons:

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41074466/raccoon-takes-16-milelong-wild-ride-on-wonder-bread-truck

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/08/14/florida-police-catch-raccoon-inside-high-school-vending-machine/2016217001/

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2019/10/18/Florida-deputies-rescue-raccoon-with-plastic-bottle-stuck-on-head/2111571421727/

Beavers:

https://www.heraldtribune.com/news/20160712/beaver-attacks-paddleboarder?template=ampart

Gators:

https://myfwc.com/media/1741/alligator-record-table.pdf

https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/breaking/ct-humboldt-park-alligator-caught-20190716-ydqznwqemvhonfk2xuwj3iw7ta-story.html

Pythons:

https://www.sfwmd.gov/our-work/python-program

https://www.local10.com/news/2017/03/08/25-professional-snake-hunters-to-target-burmese-pythons-in-miami-dade-county/

https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2005/oct/06/python-gator-tangle-in-the-everglades-neither/

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/01/16/florida-golfers-play-through-while-a-massive-gator-fights-a-python

https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/02/why-are-enormous-alligator-eating-pythons-invading-florida/252359/

Spiders:

https://www.fdacs.gov/Divisions-Offices/Plant-Industry/Plant-Industry-Publications/Pest-Alerts/Venomous-Spiders-in-Florida

Swamp Legends

Wilo the Wisp:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will-o%27-the-wisp

http://www.fipr.state.fl.us/about-us/phosphate-primer/phosphate-and-how-florida-was-formed/

https://www.nytimes.com/1983/03/05/business/phosphate-slump-in-bone-valley.html?ref=oembed

Skunk Ape:

https://www.skunkape.info/

https://www.yoursun.com/charlotte/skunk-ape-sightings-in-charlotte-in-sarasota-are-you-a/article_d7a2ca74-9205-11e9-8185-071084246773.html

Quicksand:

https://www.wjbf.com/news/fl-man-78-survives-8-hours-trapped-in-quicksand-among-snakes/

https://www.backpacker.com/news-and-events/phenomenon-battle-quicksand-with-quick-thinking

https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1997-05-05-9705050054-story.html

https://www.sfgate.com/news/local/article/Quicksand-Texas-river-dead-rare-9227418.php

Fire Fly

https://grist.org/article/fireflys-are-disappearing-heres-why-and-what-you-can-do-to-help/
https://www.farmersalmanac.com/are-fireflies-disappearing-35646
https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/blogs/why-are-fireflies-disappearing

Whipporwill

https://thesouthern.com/sports/outdoors/the-disappearing-whippoorwill/article_4cd065e0-879f-11e2-939a-001a4bcf887a.html
https://www.firstlighthabitats.com/blog/where-have-all-the-whip-poor-wills-gone
https://www.wgbh.org/news/science-and-technology/2019/06/14/tracking-massachusetts-disappearing-whip-poor-wills
https://www.savannahnow.com/news/20200106/analysis-horrific-bird-losses-touch-every-state-surprise-experts

Skunk

https://www.yourobserver.com/article/skunk-preserve-raises-stink-in-myakka-city

Pesticides

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pesticide_toxicity_to_bees
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/08/insect-apocalypse-under-way-toxic-pesticides-agriculture/
https://now.tufts.edu/news-releases/lights-out-fireflies-face-extinction-threats-habitat-loss-light-pollution-pesticides
https://www.businessinsider.com/epa-banned-pesticides-killing-bees-2019-5
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imidacloprid

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/04/european-union-expands-ban-three-neonicotinoid-pesticides#